WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Have I done enough? Have I done what I could have done? Should I be feeling this way? How much more should I hold back my feelings?
I feel upset that some people just aren't able to move on. Aren't able to accept who they are. Aren't able to change. But I'd adapt.
Definitely, I don't expect miracles. I don't expect God to drop me things from heaven. I don't expect everyone laughing like the Mad Hatter but I expect everyone to live a life. If time is the answer, hey... I'm granting it to you.
I've surrendered. I've raised the white flag. I'm no longer interested in claiming my eldest sister family anymore.
Once, I gave her respect;
Then she stepped on it by claiming her rights as an elder over me;
Later erasing her rights by doing things an eldest must never do.
Great power comes great responsibility. Great respect comes from great work. Both goes hand in hand. With neither work, nor responsibility, never claim such otherwise the respect you earn is Z-E-R-O.
Oh well, I believe it's pathetic that a young adult who just hit her 20s needs to inform/warn a person in their late 20s again and again. I believe it is pathetic that I am accidentally excluded from a family dinner because I'm not family. I believe it is pathetic that I am denied entry to take my clothes from my room. I believe it is pathetic that I am not welcome in the house. I believe it is pathetic that an ex-family member does not believe that I love my own mother. Last but not least, I believe it is pathetic that 'family' members try not to solve 'family problems' but try their VERY BEST to solve their friend's problems.
That being said, it is pointless of me to complain further.
After all,
maybe I am just a naive snort.
Maybe I'm just a stupid child.
Maybe I am just a baby.
But, maybe after this,
My heart wouldn't be so broken anymore.
